It's weird to actually believe that it has only been two years since I left my mother's house and went on to college. I remember leaving with urgency and incentive to finally be out my Mother's protective grasp. I see the world as a place filled with opportunities and challenges. As I stepped out that door , from Eagan, Minnesota to River Falls, Wisconsin and landed in an institution where I felt safe. It wasn't until after the first 4 months that I realized that there were no more free groceries. The security of clothing would become obsolete. The realization of these costs came in waves of worry and anxiety for accomplishment. I became uncertain of where my future would lie. I analyzed these experiences using the U theory in describing such a transition.
I looked up at an unfamiliar ceiling and unable to sleep. I had done my homework, I completed my work shift, but what have I forgotten, to eat. My stomach growled as I thought up images of my Mother’s and Brother’s home cooking. I knew what would happen when I gained independence. I knew my belly wouldn’t always be full or that I wouldn’t have the most comfortable shoe or that I wouldn’t always have money in my pocket because I had experienced this before. I just didn’t know what it would feel like to go through alone.
I began the first part of my transition on a shaky discourse of anxious anticipation. The next day would bring even more transitional experiences. River Falls is a small town. Coming from a graduating class of 530 people, burning smokestacks and brown people, River Falls seemed like a very foreign place. Tractors ran down the roads carrying barrels of hay as the 18 wheelers carried cages of chickens, horses, pigs and cows. I had never, knowingly met a farmer my age until the day I stepped on the concrete of the University of Wisconsin River Falls. Deep fear arose as I realized just who I was going to school with. Knowing better I tried my best to avoid segregating myself. I still looked for familiar faces. Seeing one face that would hopefully provide me with some sort of comfort, I approached the lonely black female and male standing at the edge of the UC stairs. They looked at me as if I had ants crawling out of my ears and burst out laughing at my presence. I continued to proceed and they walked away without a second glance.
In this experience, not only did I experience culture shock, but also experience open dejection from a context I thought would supply my embodied ethnocentrism. I knew better, but that hurt. I looked down and realized what I looked like, which reminded me who I was. I was wearing torn jeans with pinstriped floods, painted Chucks, and a black argyle sweater. My hair was swooshed heavily to the side as one earring complimented the composition on my right ear.
I should have known better. It goes back to the idea of how much we should actually care about how people think of us. As I grew that first year I learned this. I have continuously learning and flouring above certain pressures and prejudices that we experience when communicating with others. What can we do to help others resist these pressures and feel comfortable in new contexts that we share?
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I think the best thing we can do is accept people for who they are. Instead of pressuring people to change or being prejudiced, we should reserve judgement and get to know them. We when we meet someone for the first time, it is easy to judge them based on first impressions. However, first impressions are often wrong, especially if the person is from a different culture. By trying to accept people for who they are, we can make them feel more comfortable in a new situation. If someone is new simply being their friend- listening to one another, discussing our fears, and helping each other solve problems-can help them adjust to the new place.
ReplyDeleteTime and experience is sometimes the only combatant to many prejudices some people feel, some may never quite get it. I think just talking about it and exposing yourself to new situations, new people, new cultures, and new ideas is the way to go. You (us), not them. We can’t ever change other people, they really must change themselves. All we can do is enact changes within ourselves that may serve as an example for them to follow or an example for them to reference for future interactions. I hope I’m making sense. I really like Gandhi’s saying, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done and it is hurtful and often difficult (sometimes downright impossible almost) to view it in this way and sometimes direct confrontation is required.
I love these responses and realize all of these considerations. It is when we are supposed to apply dialectical perspective approaches that I get confused. It like this big subjectivity cloud is fogging up all of the ethical approaches to judging and solving particular conflicts that introduce new or unlearned cultures. I am obviously very opinionated and feel even more discouraged when thinking about how to solve things like international conflicts.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the right way? But even the word "right" is subjective to each and every individual.
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