Relationships

Who’s Culture?
The question to this assignment poses a problem. In the conflict of my own culture there are, what could be described as, many enclaves. I have, found a question that could describe the norms in my family when it came to relationships
:How do we define our cultures inside of our mainstream culture and what values will we try to instill on our future generations due to our experiences with our immediate family?
In North Minneapolis black families were very different from each other. As a family, we transitioned from a culture that follows closely to a heterosexual familial that followed the “American Dream”. My father worked for Naval recruitment and missions as while we lived on base. Our Sundays were spent in dress clothes and scripture of Christian ways. It wasn’t until our familial transition to North Minneapolis, Minnesota where a new world would open up to new colors and flavors of people and perspectives.
Upton Ave. North provided a place that was not only LGBTQ, but was filled with a common sense of economic struggle. This sense provided an atmosphere of community as people shared home cooking, recipes, clothing and even shelter. These influences became more and more evident as my Mother’s and Father’s relationship deteriorated. I took on the opportunity to find safety and shelter where I lived. I had friends to go to and talk to about feelings. This became the first part of my own cultural enclave.
With a single Mother, roles in the house also changed. The four of us did most of the cleaning while my Mother worked through the social environment for work and friends. As we got older cooking and cleaning become chores. My biggest brother was in charge of watching and supervising all of our activities. In this new world my Mother gained the ability to express more of her identity that was hidden in a false life. For over 10 years I would be able to say that I had two Mothers while others acknowledge the common “Mom and Dad”. These relationships exposed us to new perspectives and ways of thinking. These relationships were also interracial. I draw many Hispanic and European influences in the way I have shaped my current identity. It was the combination of these influences and new responsibilities my Mother instilled upon us in order to teach us lessons for the preparation of the “real world”.
We were prepared to deal with the all sorts of possibilities of there being “different people”, of limitations of materialistic resources, and most importantly, sex. My Mother did not want us to make the mistake of creating too large of challenges for to early times. Her birth of my big brother at 16 took her into alternate routes she did not originally expect to take. She constantly emphasizes the freedoms we have when we only have to take care of ourselves.
Individuality was highly valued in the household. Larger societal taboos such as homosexuality, tattoos, and piercings had long ago been demolished. However, any legal policies were highly valued. It was the fear of us becoming trapped like the man in front of the gas station with no direction. Her hand and her voice were very loud when it came to my brother’s potentiality in gang relations. It was her hand and her voice that enforced involvement and self improvement. She has successfully raised four different individuals with the rules she has set up in our family’s culture. In my eyes, the values of individuality, self improvement and sufficiency were values put in place for the enjoyment of our lives and the purpose of being a positive member of the community.
Weddings will come from the perspectives and decisions made from the four of us will provide new ways to consider courting. What my Mother wants and what we do are to be understood and separated so that we make our own decisions and our own culture, as we become adults who toss ourselves in this crazy salad.